138. When You Are The One.. Before The One He Marries

This is an awful occurrence and definitely one that seems terribly unfair at the time.

I've mentioned before about a guy I know that dated a lovely girl for 5 years. They broke up and within weeks he was dating someone else and within months they were engaged and now he's married to her.

And he is not the only one. Scan your friends and facebook.com for similar stories.

And whilst it may seem unfair that you went through all the bad stuff that every long term relationship unavoidably comes across and yet he didn't stay with you til death do you part, take solace in knowing that the same problems will raise their heads in this new relationship.

Frankly, in fact most importantly, you both did you a favour. Because if he actually loved you enough, he would have married you and not her.

And why would you ever want to spend even ten minutes with someone who didn't deserve you?

His loss.

137. Firass Fabulous!!

Congrats to the newest Cleo Batchelor of the Year!!

136. Chasing Amy

Best advice I can give you tody is - if you meet someone who mentions his ex-girlfriend more than twice in the first three months - run away.

It's a shadow you can't and shouldn't attempt to walk in.

He has baggage that you don't need to have brought to a new relationship - let him deal with it and if he is really, truly, interested in you, he'll come and find you when he is done with it.

You deserve better than being treated second best.

135. Smart Couples

I just got off the phone with my long-term friend S. She has been married to her husband K for about 5 years now, and dated him for ten years before that. They have two very cute, albiet boisterous, small children.

S just updated me that her husband K has started taking art classes every Tuesday night. She told me that they both believed it was important to nourish their own souls, not just indulge their children, now that the kids were getting a little bigger. (they are 4 and 2)

S is starting photography.

Mostly importantly, it gave them something to talk about that didn't involve the kids or each other. Something that was their's alone to own.

It won't take away from their family time. Or their couple time. Infact, it will without a doubt enrich it.

I love it!

NB This photo is of one the longest recorded married couples. The husband, Liu Fuben, 95, and the wife, Shi Jihui, 100, have been living together for 85 years

134. Za Za Zsu

The term, orginally, comes from "Sex and the City", where Carrie describes it as the feeling you get when you meet someone you really really like. That sort of lovey, butterflies feeling when you just want to be with someone.

I myself, describe it as the feeling you get when you like someone so much, you miss them as soon as they leave the room, your legs shake when you think about how much you want them wrapped around you and just a simple sms from them, infact the very sight of their name in your phone makes your stomach do a little flip.

Highly addictive!

133. Happliy Ever After!

Someone very dear to me, infact someone I have known for a very long time, is this month's guest post host!

Read below for some interesting and heart-warming feedback on long-term relationships on this rainy Saturday..

Dr R - How long have you been married for?

C - We have been married for nearly 14 years, but we have been together for 18! That is half our lives!


Dr R - How did you meet?

C - We met at a friend's birthday party, but we had actually been in a few classes at school together & hadn't realised.


Dr R - You have a daughter who is soon approaching the dating age - what's your number one dating advice for her?

C - She is still a bit young, but I would tell her to never forget your friends, as boyfriends will come & go, but your good friends are forever!


Dr R - Has your relationship changed as you have got older?

C - Yes. We are more understanding of each other now, & less selfish. We both understand that we each need time to ourselves, but we love spending time together too. I used to try & control every situation when we were young, but I am much more relaxed about things now.

Dr R - What's the best thing about marriage?

C - The best thing about my marriage is having someone to share my dreams with. We both want the same things out of life & we both head in that direction. We support each other fully, & we really understand how the other thinks.


Dr R - What's the hardest?


C - The hardest thing is knowing someone so well, some things really get on your nerves but you know they will never change that thing you hate! You have to learn to accept those things but that doesn't stop you from wanting to murder them sometimes!!!

NB - The RD thanks for her gorgeous friend for this personal interview.

.

132. Joyeux anniversaire

I'm glad you had a fabulous day!

131. Meals In Heels

Cute book with great recipes for when you are next planning a special dinner for a gorgeous someone.

I completely recommend it!

130. Good Advice from a Glamour Guru..

Michael Kors is a true aficinado of timeless style..

The Hollywood designer was interviewed in Australian Vogue recently and had this to say about acting glamourous to attract a mate, not just looking the goods.

"It is not glamourous to take your BlackBerry out at the dinner table. Be present. Listen to what people have to say, be empathetic and think about how you wanted to be treated.

And use a little indulgence. We're all so busy and we all try to be good, to eat well, to exercise. Once in a while have a piece of cheesecake - it's not going to kill you. The women who are glamourous are always willing to have a little fun. Every man is excited when a woman orders a hearty meal; no-one wants to see a woman ordering a side salad"

For added glamour, Ive been wearing Kors new parfume "Michael Kors Very Hollywood' all day. It's seriously sex in a pretty glass bottle.

I'll be wearing it again as I head out later for some dinner. And some cheesecake.

129. Cock-blocked?

Heard it on the weekend, didn't know what it meant!

Wanted to share it with you all..

One who prevents another from scoring sexually.

ie Trudy and Dan frequently had time alone but her cockblocking roommate ruined any chances they had to have sex.

128. Postman Always Knocks

I heard about an interesting exercise recently and wanted to share it with you.

As we all know, sometimes one parent goes to work and one stays home with the kids. And for all those involved, it can be very hard work and frustrating.

I heard about this letterbox idea, where the working parent comes home but before they walk in the door, they collect a letter from a little family mailbox (not the actual mailbox) that has a nice message about the stay at home family members day

ie "Aurelia was very good today and ate all her vegetables. Plus she drew you this picture of an elephant"

After collecting the mail, the working partner, than posts his own letter about his or her frustrations about their own day, hence sealing away the issues for another day.

It may sound corny, but the couple I spoke to, swear it works after months of fighting..

127. Je suis desolee (sorry!!)

My humble apologies for being noticeably absent for weeks. I am back now and have lots and lots of posts for you all!

I promise never to go away for so long. Ever again!

RD

126. According To My Friend Steve

Most men use texting as a weapon in their dating arsenal. Here's why:

1)They can text from just about anywhere, such as while they are on a date and the girl is in the bathroom, while they are at work, or while they are sitting on the couch watching the game

2)It's sneaky and guys love sneaky

3) It doesn't require talking on the phone

4) It makes it easier to lie

5) There is no background noise or anything that would indicate where they are

6) They can easily keep in touch with up to ten different women (maybe more if they can type fast)

7) Booty texting avoids the risk of rejection over the phone

8) They love having pictures of you naked on their phone.

125. Shopping for Love Part 2..

I received quite alot of feedback about my picking up at the supermarket post - and have some more to add..

Guys know your single by checking out your shopping trolley and the below list confirms it for them

1) Single serving of chicken or frozen dinners

2) Small amounts of produce, such as one or more tomatoes

3) Too much cat or dog food. This can be scary to a man as some don't like too many pets

4) No junk food whatsoever. Or a basketful of diet products. Men eat junk food. If you had one in the house, you would buy him some

5) A lonely pint of icecream

124. Dooming Behaviour... Expecting Him to Pay For Everything

Money matters. Gold diggers can disreguard this post, as it doesn't apply to you - you have bigger problems. For the rest of us, good men want to take us out and make us feel special, but they also expect a little return on their investment.

Men are very cost-benefit oriented. This return can come in the form of home-cooked dinners once in a while, small gifts, and us paying for things. Just like us, men want to feel appreciated, and everyone, male or female, enjoys a freebie.

Once in the relationship, you may find going dutch or taking turns paying is the best solution. Money doesn't grow on trees, but ugly sticks do.

And when you're cheap with men, it's as though you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down..

123. Ten to Fun

Ok, I stole some of these but I plan to do most of them very soon!

1) Plant a naughty note in his wallet. That way, he'll see it when he goes to pay for his morning coffee or his lunch, and he'll end thinking about you for the rest of the day. Something like, "Meet me in the shower after work" should do the trick.

2) Do a $5 gift Sunday. This involves seeing who can get the most creative present for $5 in five moniutes. And it makes grocery shopping or a trip to the markets a lot more fun.

3) Go commando together. Even if it's just down to your local DVD store, it will be your cheeky little secret.

4) Draw up a map of your place and mark out where you've done it - and in what positions. Then, take turns marking the spots you still want to break in... and how you'll do just that.

5) Buy two copies of the same book. Read it together and discuss it as you go.

6) Ask him to help you moisturise after your morning shower. First of all, he'll love it and, and secondly, your hard-to-reach places will be mega-hyrdated. Just leave time for the inevitable results.

7) Make up charaters for each other - and play them all night long. He can be the pilot and you can be the hostie..

8) Write reminders in his phone calendar, like "Ravage Sarah tonight" Mark them "urgent"

9) Order takeway on Sunday - for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The only rule is, you both have to stay in your underwear all day long.

10) Do a Skype striptease - in the next room. Just see how long he can stay away. I'm guessing not very..

122. Love Life's Big Question?

Q: You can't really change a man, can you?

A: You can change a man's habits, but not who he is. The easiest thing to change is that way you respond to him. This will cause a chain reaction and eventually his behaviour will change.

I can assure you of this from personal experience. I've known very bad men who have been changed by the right women several times. For example, lets say your man constantly loses things, and always ropes you into his searching panic. You can't stop him from losing things, but you can simply ignore him by continuing with what you were doing, and not dropping everything to help him search.

Your lack of response will teach him. If you don't like it, don't respond.

121. A Model's Musings

Yesterday Megan Gale stepped in for her bf Andy Lee, whilst Lee had dental surgury, co-hosting his drive time show with Hamish Blake.

Having a girl co-host, Blake took full advantage and asked Gale's advice what were her tips for "sealing the deal" in a relationship see-saw.

I share them with you now...

1) Cooking, cooking, cooking! And the better or fancier the dish, the more the points you'll win! A good roast, a good pasta and a good steak all came up trumps!

2) Find out his favorite sports team, and get a little interested.. Gale admits to having occasionally thrown out just the odd comment of "Johnson playted well today didn't he!" And will even go so far as texting Lee the score if she knows he might miss his fav match!

3) Befriend his friends (my fav!) Have them over, make them welcome at your place! Feed them and fetch them beer without being asked as a start..

Check out Hamish and Andy's website for a full copy of the podcast from yesterday's show

120. Can't Communicate?

Q: Why is it so difficult for men to communicate? Are you a psychologist?

A: I'm not a psychologist. If I were, I would know very little about the real world of relationships and dating. I learned the real way.

It's not always "difficult" for guys to communicate. Instead, what you're seeing is probably the result of years of former communication-gone-wrong experiences.

He probably once tried to tell a girl how he felt about something, and she either went mental or misinterpreted what he was trying to say.

Or, even worse, he once opened up to a girl about how much he liked her, and she dumped him. Once bitten, twice shy. So he has learned from his experiences and now figures that he just won't bother.

Another possibility is that he thinks he's communicating. Men and women say the same thing but in a different language.

If you've got a guy who won't talk, the best thing you can do is let him concretely know that you love blunt people. And be blunt with him on a few choice topics to open up communication ground.

But get ready, because opening the communication flood gates always brings some funky stuff floating down that river of honesty, and if your man is not the most sophisticated fish in the sea, he may inadvertently say some mean things. The best thing to do is keep him on a specific topic.

119. De Brito De Brilliant

I've blogged before that you should make Sam De Brito's blog part of your daily reading just for an insight!

And this particular post makes for very entertaining reading..

http://blogs.theage.com.au/executive-style/allmenareliars/2010/03/02/howtosayilo.html