Someone I know received a facebook message from a guy she didn't know. He said her photos were pretty and he would like to take her for a drink. On closer inspection of his facebook page, it seemed like a legitimate page. It also seems that he has a partner and kids.
He included his mobile number so we called it and indeed he was keen to meet for a drink. And some no-strings attached sex. We set the time and place and watched him turn up in his finest at the hotel we had specified.
Of course we left him standing alone.
The thing is, I don't believe for one moment that Aaron Carver (yep - I'm outing him!) hasn't dropped clues to his partner that he is looking elsewhere for some intimacy. I do believe, however, she is hoping it goes away.
Another friend of mine, T, knew for six months that something was up with her marriage. She knew that it wasn't right that every weekend her husband M went to Sydney to party with his friend Al, whilst T stayed at home with their new baby. But she pretended it wasn't happening rather than face an awful truth. Of course he eventually left her someone else; Al's flatmate! (FTR she is much better off without him - I always thought he was punching above his weight.)
The thing is, it won't go away. It will manifest itself. So don't ignore it. This is your partner. Your equal partner. So ask questions. (Don't interrogate so he is scared to talk to you) But be involved. Don't snoop. But be interested. And be friends with his friends.
And if something doesn't feel right intuitively - 9 out of 10 times it isn't.
NB The RD in no way believes that only men cheat and for my men readers, women are sometimes all the more sneaky. Pay attention.
