192. Who Not Why?

There is a fabulous article in this weekend's Sunday magazine from todays paper about why men cheat.

Its about Irish comedian Peadar De Burca who decided to interview 250 men and ask them why they cheated.

Politician, doctors, soldiers, bank executives, rich men, poor men, working-class men, poor men - everybody.

He then went on to further investigate what your average adulterer looks like.

"The overiding thing about the men was that they weren't cool or handsome. They all seemed needy and insecure. And pathetic and cowards. Some were so grimy they made me want to puke"

"And they blamed everyone else"

He found out what I've always suspected.

Real men don't cheat.

182. Threesomes..Or Not?

With modern technology and social networking sights these days, its almost impossible to have more than one girl on that go at any time.

Need further proof?

A guy I know is very cute. And fancies himself as quite the ladies man. Although just recently I labelled him a clumsy lothario...

See he was really, really stringing two girls along. But with facebook.com, there was no way they didn't know about each other.

So he had to create a web of lies explaining them to each other. He called one a weird stalker that he didn't speak to and the other a jealous violent skank.

He thought that would be enough to keep them away from each other.

What he didn't count on however was that both of these girls were good people and indeed smart people.

And cracks started to appear in his stories.

Eventually one girl decided to contact another girl via said social networking site.

And the truth really came out. Numbers, stories and dates were swapped.

And the boy was confronted with the evidence.

Now the boy has neither girl.. and I doubt he is looking forward to returning from his current trip in London

180. The Very Worst Thing

Humiliation.

The worst thing about being cheated on and lied to is the humiliation.

It's expected that people will fall out of love with each other and it's expected that we as humans don't mate for life.

But it doesn't give anyone an excuse to tread all over your feelings with lies and trickery.

At one stage, you loved this person that you are now lying too. Or if even if you didn't, you should still appreciate the feelings that they have for you.

They will cope more with the fact that you now want to be with someone else, than they will cope with the realization that they have been lied to and made to look stupid in front of other people.

Imagination overdrive will kick in and they will know that possibly you lay in bed with your new lover giggling as your orginal lover called your mobile looking for you.

I've just read Tiger Wood's ex-wife Elin's account and it isn't pretty.

It simply wasn't fair how she was treated but the humiliation of it all made it so much worse.

Remember you were lucky enough to have someone, anyone love you at some stage, you do not need to trample on those feelings by amping up her humilation levels.

Be upfront and honest as soon as possible in order to make a bad situation more bearable for the heart-broken.

159. Top Ten. Us Versus Them

Cont. from yesterday...

Men
1. I didn't have that much to drink.
2. Nothing's wrong, I am fine.
3. I had no phone signal.
4. It wasn't that expensive.
5. I'm on my way.
6.I'm stuck in traffic.
7.No, your bum doesn't look big in that.
8. Sorry, I missed your call.
9. Yep, you've lost weight.
10. It's just what I have always wanted.

Women
1. Nothing's wrong, I'm fine.
2. I don't know where it is, I haven't touched it.
3.It wasn't that expensive.
4. I didn't have that much to drink.
5. I've got a headache.
6.It was on sale.
7. I'm on my way.
8.Oh, I've had this for ages.
9. No, I didn't throw it away.
10. It's just what I have always wanted.

158. Liar Liars

Taken from the Herald Sun last week..

Men lie most, honestly.

It is something that wives and girlfriends have long suspected to be true.

Men are far more likely to tell lies than women, according to the research.

The British study found that the average male tells 1092 lies a year - roughly three a day.

In contrast, the average woman will lie 728 times a year, about twice a day.

And while men said their lies were most likely to relate to drinking habits, the most popular female fib - "Nothing is wrong, I'm fine" - hides their true feelings.

Men are also less likely to feel guilty about lying.

While 82 per cent of women questioned said telling a lie ate away at their conscience, only 70 per cent confessed to pangs of guilt.

Overall, 75 per cent of those polled agreed it was ok to fib to save someone's feelings.

"Lying may seem to be an unavoidable part of human nature, but it's an important part of social interaction" said Katie Maggs, associate medical curator at the Science Museum, which commissioned the study.

"The jury is still out as to whether human quirks like lying are the result of genes, evolution or upbringing"

According to the findings, we are most likely to tell a tale to our mothers, with 25 per cent of men and 20 per cent of women admitting this.

By comparison, only 10 per cent said they were likely to deceive their partners.

In tomorrow's post I'll tell you what we like about...

104. An Affair To Remember

On the day that Noel started work at the Sofitel Gold Coast, he met Melinda, the hotel's pay clerk.

Three days later, Melinda sent Noel an email to his work address "It's nice to have you on board, let me know if you ever want to go for a drink"

Nathan was suprised as Melanie was married. She must just be very friendly he thought.

By the end of the week, they were swapping emails on the hour.

A week or so later, Melinda asked Noel what he was doing for State of Origin rugby league match that night.

"Going to my local pub" he said. "I might meet you there" Melinda told him. "Whats your mobile number?"

They swapped numbers. She didn't meet him there but she did now have his number in her phone.

They started texting daily until about 9pm each night. (9pm was when Melinda's husband James would arrive home).

That Friday night, they went for a drink after work.

Noel had worked at the Sofitel for only two weeks.

By 11pm, they had separated from their colleagues and were sharing a passionate kiss in an alley behind a pub.

They went back to Noel's house and had sex.

Then Melinda called at taxi and was back in James's bed by 3am.

Over the weekend, Melinda sent Noel as many secret texts as she could manage without being caught.

By Monday am, both of them were filled with the kind of excitement that only an affair can muster.

Huge stomach butterflies and a sense of really, really feeling alive.

They had more chances to be together at work.

They took secret rides in the staff lift, kissing and groping each other whenever possible.

They send 100's of emails about what they would do to each other as soon as they were next alone.

They went to secret lunches and held hands under the table.

He sent her flowers to work but had to take them home with him as Melinda could not explain them to James.

Each day was amazing for Noel, but each night was torture as he waited for her texts when her husband wasn't looking.

Melinda increased her lies to her husband, telling James she was at the gym after work.

She started going to Nathan's house for sex. The kind of sex only a forbidden affair knows.

One night she told James she was sleeping at her friend Helen's house. She stayed the whole night at Noel's so they could wake up together instead of her having to leave by 3am.

Another night she told James she had a work conference but actually Melinda and Noel headed to Brisbane for the night so that they could have dinner like a normal couple. They could have been caught. Noel didn't care.

Weeks went by and the secrecy continued.

People at their work were very suspcious.

Noel started to pressure her to leave her husband. He was in love with her and would take her away from her terrible marriage he promised.

She told him she would soon.

Weeks more went by. Noel started driving by their house. One night he got out of the car and listened at the fence.

He could hear them laughing. Like a happily married couple.

He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind.

One night, she did leave James.

She told Noel that she had come to live with him.

Noel was so happy. He believed this was his dream girl. He wanted to marry her and took her to meet his mum.

The next day, Melinda went home to James.

She sent Noel lots of texts telling him it was he that she loved, not James and that they would be together very soon but she was worried about what people would think.

She told Noel she would resign from work and get a new job and then she would leave James.

She did that.

Noel was impatient and started to doubt her.

He thought that if James knew about the affair then he would throw Melinda out and they could be together.

He no longer thought clearly.

He was consumed by this girl.

He decided to take a risk.

He printed out all the emails that Melinda and himself had sent each other. Detailing sordid moments of their affair.

He paid a Gold Coast Taxi driver $50 to deliver the emails to James.

Melinda was at her farewell drinks from the Sofitel.

James stormed in and asked the large crowd.

"Who the f@uck is Noel and who else here knows that he is f@cking my wife?"

The crowd was silent. Melinda turned white.

She jumped up and ran towards James.

"It's all lies" "I love you"

She went home with James that night and refused to take Noel's calls.

A few days later, Melinda gave James, Noel's mobile number.

James told Noel that he and Melinda were stronger than this and wouldn't be breaking up.

James put Melinda on the phone and told him the same thing. That she was sorry but she didn't have the same feelings for Noel as she did for her husband.

Noel was devastated.

A few weeks went by.

Melinda turned up at Noel's house and they had sex 5 times.

She told him she loved him and she would leave her husband soon.

She went home to her husband.

Noel knew he had being played.

Melinda and James are still married and they have a baby boy.