200. Thirty Dollar Date Night

Check out this fabulous blog from the equally fabulous Emma Merkas.

Simply great ways to enjoy somme romance with your love without the excuse of not being able to afford it!

Her blog even includes a best of top ten that is amazing!!

This is the link..

http://blog.30dollardatenight.com/2010/01/21/the-top-10-date-lists-collection/

Simply one of the best blogs I have read all year X

154. Alio

This restaurant gets my vote as one of Sydney's best hidden gems..

Located on Baptist Street in Surry Hills, Alio has just started a new degustation menu to celebrate its 10th birthday and I can think of nothing sexier than going there with a handsome man and trying that new menu!

And with all those dishes, couples wouldn't have those uncomfortable silences that seem to appear when you do get time away from the children for a good meal together.

I, personally, could fill those silences with my musings about the baked camembert or the sliced bresaola or the panna cotta (pictured) easily..

For bookings call (02) 8394-9368

148. Satorially Elegant vs Self-Help Sabotage

Greg Behrendt, author of the acclaimed book "He's Just Not That Into You", was quoted this week saying girls stood a better chance with guys by spending money on a fabulous dress rather than on his or any other self-help book.

NB I am loving MK's dress!! Now if I just had somewhere to wear it to..

145. Red Flags

Taken from an article featured in this months Madison magazine..with footnotes from the RD!

When to walk away:

He reacts poorly in a crisis - or doesn't react at all. What might his response be if you told him you were quitting your job to write a novel? What would he say if you were diagnosed with diabetes, or worse, cancer? It helps to know that the person with whom you're contemplating walking down the aisle with is well-equipped to cope with life's uncertainties.

A friend of mine told me that on her wedding day she knew her marriage would not survive something serious like the death of their child etc. She went ahead with it anyway and five years later he left her for someone he had been having an affair with for six months. Even though they had a new baby.

He thrives on negativity. All couples fight;it's normal to have disagreements. What does matter - more than you may realise - is how many positive interactions a couple needs to share. Research by relationship guru Dr John Gottman shows that happy couples have about 5:1 ratio between positive and negative interactions. To wit: for every criticism, ill-tempered remark or dismissive shrug that passes between a couple, there should be at least five positive experiences - such as laughing, holding hands or simply listening to one another.

This is my favorite. If the good times are outweighing the bad or he doesn't make you happy anymore at just the thought of him- what are you doing?

He doesn't fight fairly. When problems arise, are you always the one apologising? Do you both actively participate in a discussion, even if it's uncomfortable? (Somebody who shuts down when you want to raise a serious issue is a walking red flag) Note whether he fights dirty or tries to land below-the-belt shots. Nasty name-calling, abusive and controlling behaviour and aggression should never be tolerated.

This doesn't need much more said. No name-calling. Ever. Nothing warrants it. Dump him.

144. Being Frank

I sat down with my dear friend K recently and had a frank chat about relationships with her.

This is what happened.

Verbatim..

Q: You are in a new relatively new relationship - whats the best thing about dating someone brand new?

The best thing about dating someone new is that you can move on in your life with someone you feel like you have a future with. If you have broken up with someone there was obviously reason for it, therefore,...... NEXT.

Q: Whats the hardest?

The hardest thing, is at the start of a new relationship both of us are on our "best behaviour" ie they are someone that they want the other party to like! So you wont really know who the person is until you have hung out with them for a year or more!!

Q: You have dated people alot younger than you - how did you find that?

At the time I did not care that the person I was dating was 14 years younger than me, we had fun and thats all that mattered! But looking back whilst not in the situation, you can see a lot clearer and we definately had different maturity levels.

You are at different levels in life and if they dont match then it can make things difficult. For example, I had had several relationships and several flings previously and was ready for a serious relationship, whereas they had only had one proper relationship so wasn't as interested in "settling down".


Q: Do you think being the same age really matters? Or does having similar interests help more?

I think that the age gap doesnt always matter, it depends on the individual case. However, what I have discovered is, if the gap is one that starts from late teens/early 20's onwards then there can be issues. This is because the younger party hasn't matured and lived properly yet to be able to know exactly what they really want whereas the other one has. But if you have an age difference later in life, take for instance, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi, I think that it can work because Portia has lived through life for 35 years and is knowledgeable,wise and mature enough to know what she wants in life


Q: How hard is jelousy to deal with? Have you ever had to deal with it?

Jealousy is very difficult to deal with and yes I have been known to be a green eyed monster in the past. It kinda just happened to me and I didn't enjoy it, the problem was I did not know how to deal with it. These days (being older and wiser) I tend not to let it affect me as much and if I do feel it, I tell myself that I am a person that deserves everything in life, and that I cannot control anyone's behaviour. I can only control my own behaviour and that I am a good person and deserve to be with someone that treats me right. If the person I am with is not treating me right I tell them. At the end of the day if my partner cheats on me or leaves me that will be their loss and not mine. This makes me a stronger person. Also, if I feel like I am going to act jealous then I will not put myself in those scenarios (where possible).

Q: Whats your number one relationship rule?

Always have your own stuff going on ie - things that you like to do and that are passionate about. If your partner is not into your passion then do it on your own. Its good for your character and you wont feel so much pressure in the relationship of doing every single thing together. Time apart makes the heart grow fonder!! But balance it of course!! You still need to connect with your partner frequently, but just take time out for yourself!

The RD thanks her wonderful friend for this personal interview and wishes her and her new girlfriend L every happiness in their future together

141. Mint Bearnaise

Everyone knows the way to a man's heart is via his stomach. Here's a little something to help the journey!

Mint Bernaise

1/3 cup of good white vinegar
1 shallot
6 black peppercorns
4 egg yolks
250 g of butter
1/2 cup of fresh mint leaves

Place vinegar, chopped shallot and peppercorns in pan. Bring to bopil, boil rapidly until reduced by half. Strain liquid into top of double saucepan, add egg yolks, beat over simmering water for one minute. Add melted butter until thickened. Remove from heat, place in blender with mint leaves and blend for 30 seconds.

Serve over a rack of lamb for a delicious meal for a gorgeous someone

Bon appetit!

140. Bad Teeth?

A friend of mine has men with good teeth on her want list. Another one won't date blondes.

I, of course, have my own list too but whatever is on our lists - the below need to be added as well!

1)Mummy's boys

2)Men who are bad with money

3)Men with no friends

4)Men who put you down in public

5)Men who are rude to waitering staff

6)Men unable to laugh at themselves

7)Men unwilling to share authority

8)Men who never make demands countering yours

To put up with any of those guys is just, frankly, crazy.

138. When You Are The One.. Before The One He Marries

This is an awful occurrence and definitely one that seems terribly unfair at the time.

I've mentioned before about a guy I know that dated a lovely girl for 5 years. They broke up and within weeks he was dating someone else and within months they were engaged and now he's married to her.

And he is not the only one. Scan your friends and facebook.com for similar stories.

And whilst it may seem unfair that you went through all the bad stuff that every long term relationship unavoidably comes across and yet he didn't stay with you til death do you part, take solace in knowing that the same problems will raise their heads in this new relationship.

Frankly, in fact most importantly, you both did you a favour. Because if he actually loved you enough, he would have married you and not her.

And why would you ever want to spend even ten minutes with someone who didn't deserve you?

His loss.

126. According To My Friend Steve

Most men use texting as a weapon in their dating arsenal. Here's why:

1)They can text from just about anywhere, such as while they are on a date and the girl is in the bathroom, while they are at work, or while they are sitting on the couch watching the game

2)It's sneaky and guys love sneaky

3) It doesn't require talking on the phone

4) It makes it easier to lie

5) There is no background noise or anything that would indicate where they are

6) They can easily keep in touch with up to ten different women (maybe more if they can type fast)

7) Booty texting avoids the risk of rejection over the phone

8) They love having pictures of you naked on their phone.

125. Shopping for Love Part 2..

I received quite alot of feedback about my picking up at the supermarket post - and have some more to add..

Guys know your single by checking out your shopping trolley and the below list confirms it for them

1) Single serving of chicken or frozen dinners

2) Small amounts of produce, such as one or more tomatoes

3) Too much cat or dog food. This can be scary to a man as some don't like too many pets

4) No junk food whatsoever. Or a basketful of diet products. Men eat junk food. If you had one in the house, you would buy him some

5) A lonely pint of icecream

121. A Model's Musings

Yesterday Megan Gale stepped in for her bf Andy Lee, whilst Lee had dental surgury, co-hosting his drive time show with Hamish Blake.

Having a girl co-host, Blake took full advantage and asked Gale's advice what were her tips for "sealing the deal" in a relationship see-saw.

I share them with you now...

1) Cooking, cooking, cooking! And the better or fancier the dish, the more the points you'll win! A good roast, a good pasta and a good steak all came up trumps!

2) Find out his favorite sports team, and get a little interested.. Gale admits to having occasionally thrown out just the odd comment of "Johnson playted well today didn't he!" And will even go so far as texting Lee the score if she knows he might miss his fav match!

3) Befriend his friends (my fav!) Have them over, make them welcome at your place! Feed them and fetch them beer without being asked as a start..

Check out Hamish and Andy's website for a full copy of the podcast from yesterday's show

118. Committed?

Q. I meet someone, date him, love him and then leave. What's my problem? Will I ever committ?

A. You're funny - and you have dater's ADD. Maybe you don't have a problem. Maybe you're not cut out for long-term relationships, or maybe you haven't met the right guy, or are dating the wrong type. Do you want to committ? have you ever committed? It's nice being in love with the right person; it's fun, the sex is steady (at least at my house), and you get to know someone. But the truth is, any decent relationship is work, and if you have a job that keeps you super busy, then a relationship may be a chore.

Ask yourself this: what is it you really want?

116. Snoop?

Q. I just looked in my boyfriend's mobile phone and he has been calling his ex-girlfriend. He told me they were done and not communicating. I'm freaked out now because if he knows I was looking, he'll turn it into a trust issue. And, of course, I don't know what they're talking about. Plus, she lives far away. My question is: was it bad that I looked in his phone and what should I do now that I know?

A. Yes, it's bad that you looked in his phone. Why? Because you may be freaking out over nothing. That, and you violated his privacy. Maybe he sneaked behind your back because he figured you would make a big scene if he told you he was talking to his ex. Guys hate drama. His converations could very well have been innocent.

But for the moment, let's say he's guilty and he's flirting with his ex. I suggest you wait a week, don't look in his phone again, keep quiet, and then talk about an ex of your own. Say how he called you (make it up if you have to?!) and how it's inevitable that certain people from our past will call us. Say that you think couples should be mature about this. If he doesn't come clean at that moment, store it, because he may be waiting until he's comfortable. if in a day he doesn't come clean, ask him if he ever talks to his ex. Say you won't be mad. He won't believe you, but say it anyway. if he still doesn't come clean, I would mentally start the separation process, because he's clearly got something to hide. In general, I don't recommend looking in anyone's phone unless it's an emergency.

115. A Love Recipe

1)No relationship is a waste of time
2)Have fun with a guy even if he is not "the one"
3)Pine is for furniture, not for men
4)Don't push too hard, let things unfold naturally
5) Don't sell yourself short

114. Motorboat

The placement of one's face, specifically the mouth, into the area between a well-endowed woman's breasts, followed by a rapid shaking of the face in a side-to-side motion accompanied by yelling.

The resulting sound that is created sounds similar to an outboard boat motor.

Apparently.

113. How You Should Think At The Supermarket

The word necessity should forever be at the forefront of your psyche when it comes to groceries. As soon as you hear the clanging of metal carriges and squeaking of wheels, you should immediately think:

It's a necessity that I look casually sexy, even if I am just going to pick up a few items.

It's a necessity that I be aware that I and what's in my basket are being watched.

It's a necessity that I don't waste this opportunity to stroll up and down the aisles to see what's on sale. And by "what's on sale", I mean "if there any hot guys shopping".

It's a necessity that I strike up a conversation with men who are also shopping alone. Make a fun comment on something in his basket, or try "Excuse me, do you know what aisle the coffee is in?"

It's a necessity that I look at the supermarket as a dating arena, and not just a place to get broccoli..

111. Great Post From Special Guest Host

Introducing Bridget Holland - Dating Expert and General Manager of TeleCafe


A little bit about me…


What’s a woman who’s been happily married for the last five years doing giving singles advice about dating?


I used to head up one of the most well known internet dating sites and now I’ve been running TeleCafe for over two years. TeleCafe is Australia’s biggest phone chat forum – in a ‘normal’ week we take in excess of 15, 000 calls!


Dating and relationships are what I do best. But it’s not just my work background – it’s also the fifteen plus years it took me personally to find the right man!


I’ve certainly had my share of experiences, and now spend lots of my time listening to how other people are getting on in the dating game and finding out about the latest and greatest ways to date and have fun.


All of this means that I’ve learnt a thing or two about dating and relationships and am here to share with you a few insider hints and tips!


You’ll notice a common theme in most of the things I have to say about dating - the number one thing I tell all singles is don’t be afraid to take a risk! There are so many couples out there with weird and wacky stories about how they met, don’t get caught up in overanalysing dating. Just get out there!


A little bit about TeleCafe…


Established in 1994, TeleCafe was one of the first telephone chat forums in Australia and remains the most popular. Since its introduction, TeleCafe has received almost twenty million calls!


The key to this success is TeleCafe’s original winning formula which identifies and blends the best parts of traditional and modern relationships: simplicity, adventure, chivalry and good old-fashioned conversation.


Girls Call: 1300 778 653 (local call costs, pay/mob extra)


Guys Call: 1900 920 515 (national call, calls cost $1.65/min. pay/mob extra)


Or you can find out more at our website - www.telecafe.com.au



What the Winter Olympians taught us about dating…


by Bridget Holland, Dating Expert and General Manager of TeleCafe


I’m sure you, like me, have been glued to your TV of late rediscovering all of the weird and wonderful sports of the Winter Olympics. Although I don’t think I’ll be taking up curling or the like anytime soon, watching the Games was pretty inspiring and I think the Winter Olympians and athletes in general can teach us a thing or two when it comes to dating…


Here are some suggestions which I hope will get you not just thinking, but actually playing:


Relax!
Have you ever seen an athlete tense up at a really critical moment and lose it? Nervousness can make awkward moments much worse.


If sparking up a conversation with a stranger is a nightmare for you, then don’t make things too hard on yourself.


Try using technology to help you - when you’re talking on the phone or via email, there’s not so much to be nervous about. You’re safe and secure in your own home and you can leave the conversation at any time. Better yet, if you’re sending messages you get a second chance.


Have fun
Most Olympians aren’t in it for the money. They do it because they love it and so should you.


Whatever you’re doing to improve your dating chances, if you’re not enjoying it, stop! Take a break, a few minutes, a few days, a few weeks, then have another go when you feel like it.


You might want to try the really simple technique of smiling. It will improve your confidence, people will respond to your good mood and will even hear it in your voice.


Practice makes perfect
Or at least a lot better. The first few times Tiger swung a golf club or Federer wove a tennis racquet, they weren’t champions.


In dating, you might miss ‘the ball’ completely, and it’s pretty much certain things won’t go where you want over and over. But I implore you get out there and try dating, chatting and flirting more often because the more you try, the better you’ll get.


The first time you call TeleCafe, you won’t know what to say in your introduction, you won’t know how to start a conversation and you might press the wrong buttons – in more ways than one! So what? You didn’t learn how to walk without falling over. Hang up, do something else, laugh at yourself, remember nobody else saw or heard you making a fool of yourself. Then, have another go.


Do you want to join in on the conversation with the almost 3000 people calling TeleCafe each week?


Girls Call: 1300 778 653 (local call costs, pay/mob extra)


Guys Call: 1900 920 515 (national call, calls cost $1.65/min. pay/mob extra)


Or you can find out more at our website - www.telecafe.com.au


NB Might all sound a little too different but the Relationship Doctor reminds you that being unconventional played a major part in history, after all killing themselves at 14 was considered unconventional and that became the greatest love story of all time..

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!

91. Group Dating

I mentioned group dating a few blogs back and recieved quite a few emails asking just what that is..

Well, it's eaxctly like it sounds; groups of men and women, all single, on a big group date.

Sort of like speed dating but way less pressure and a longer time limit!

Tipped to be the dating trend of 2010, you'll find a venue that offers group dating in your capital city on google.com

I'm strapping on heels and heading to an event this weekend in fact..

30. Ms Marjorie Daw, Spinster.

I received an email this morning from a reader who declared she was giving away her latest date as he didn't give her enough attention.

I called in the help of a guy pal and asked what did men deem "enough attention" in those early dating stages.

I spoke to my woeful girlfriend again and I was left only with this.

Those two friends of mine should never meet, let alone date.

And thats the answer isn't it.

There are no real hard and fast rules, in the early stages, about what either the man or the woman should or shouldn't do.

It's really about finding someone who wants the same things you do, hence evening out the see-saw.

I suggest if you are in the same situation as my friend, pick 3 things you don't like about the new guy you are dating and thinking of dumping, and then pick 5 things you do.

Still feel the same way?

Be careful that you don't miss out on the conversation you have been waiting to have your entire life by jumping up and down too much on your end of the teeter-totter.