160. Thank You

Today's post is dedicated to the men and women of the Australian Defence Force on active service around the world.

NB: The RD wishes her friend goodluck and looks forward to having him home safe soon.

"tecum sint angeli"

132. Joyeux anniversaire

I'm glad you had a fabulous day!

94. Down On One Knee? No Need..

I was asked yesterday what made men decide to get married.

The reasons are definitely varied but I think there are two commons themes.

1) When their light is on. (as demonstrated in the below dialouge from SATC)

"Men are like cabs, when their available their light goes on. They awake one day and decide their ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. Next woman they pickup, boom, that's the one they'll marry. It's not fate, it's dumb luck."

I back this dumb theory up. Saying that, I need to elaborate that the women who said it are not dumb, but the men who act on it are.

Take my FMM for instance.

A few months ago, he told me he wasn't getting married until he was 35.

Ok... so 25, climbing a very promising career ladder - check, 27, great car - check, 28, work overseas - check and then 35 married. Check?

What if he hasn't met someone suitable to marry by then?

Does he just marry anyone and then get divorced seven years later?

Does he miss out on marrying someone amazing because he meets her before he turns 35?

I must ask him to clarify his POV..

2)No need to marry

I think men ask women to marry them so that other men don't. If you are already tied to a man with a mortgage, kids, pets, cars, bank accounts - then really, there is less chance of anyone else asking you first.

So men will stall for as long as they can, as there is no fight for the prize on their hands.

That's Wednesdays food for thought anyway.

50. Attention Seeker

I have a lovely friend who deserves a wonderful boyfriend.

She, especially, deserves one because I give her almost full marks for trying. She definitely puts herself "out there" when it comes to meeting men.

I can, however, glaringly see where she is letting herself down and I want to point it out to her - I doubt she is alone so I am sharing her story. (Sorry M..please remember that I really, really love you!)

Now, my said beloved friend reccently met a man who sounds divine.

However, as it was just before Christmas when they met, they have found each other on opposites sides of the world, after just a few dates.

As is etiquette in the modern dating world, they swapped email addresses before their trips.

My friend forwarded me the emails they exchanged (there have been two each) and frankly I fell asleep.

It was all very polite ie how was your Christmas, I am enjoying the beach, Happy New Year, can't wait to have a break etc.

Yawn!!

I would bet the life of my FMM, that this guy has a few of these email girlfriends on the go. And all of them are being polite.

But who is standing out?

I was in a kind of similar position once - emailing the odd one here and there.

One reply stood out to me and frankly still does.

I'll share how he signed off below..

"Anyway, im away with work all week - drop me a line if you want.

And just to be controversial - what are your thoughts on the failure of the UN to act on Darfur, and based on your thoughts there, is the UN even relevant in today's global environment where the US acts without UN approval?"

Considering the previous part of the email was polite and perfunctory, my interest was rocked right to the toes of my Choos.

Dare to be different M.. you deserve it!

49. 12,775

I mentioned the other day that this post was coming.

My FMM is always a source of fascinating conversation and with this topic, he did not let me down.

The other night, he gave me a run down on someone he knows, a young lady, that has had a lot of partners in her short sexual history. More than that, she seems to have had alot of partners from the same circle of friends.

And for that she was ferociously judged by my FMM.

Is this right or wrong, or just someone's opinion, the same as whether you like electronica or lepoard print?

I think it's the latter.

Because he doesn't have any idea how many people I have slept with. Would he stop talking to me if he knew?

In his defence, he tells me he also doesn't like her because she cheated on her boyfriend, a comrade of his, once upon a time.

Yet, I know he is friends with other people who have also cheated on their boyfriends.

Myself, I am not a fan of anyone that has ever lived with their girlfriend before. I also find anyone, who has ever, at any stage, gone after someone with a boyfriend, disgusts me.

Although if my forthcoming soul shaker had done all that before I met him, would my "rules" go out the window?

That's my double standard

NB The RD wants her readers to know that in no way should this post reflect poorly on her FMM. Our conversations are like constant fresh air to her.

47. For My FMM

46. Double Standards

After yet another interesting conversation with my FMM.. tomorrow I shall blog about double standards.

Send me your thoughts by tomorrow to therelationshipdoctor.com@gmail.com