200. Thirty Dollar Date Night

Check out this fabulous blog from the equally fabulous Emma Merkas.

Simply great ways to enjoy somme romance with your love without the excuse of not being able to afford it!

Her blog even includes a best of top ten that is amazing!!

This is the link..

http://blog.30dollardatenight.com/2010/01/21/the-top-10-date-lists-collection/

Simply one of the best blogs I have read all year X

187. Love.....Understood?

You have heard of chemistry between people or the chemistry of a sports team. Well, attraction and attachment, as much as we hate to admit it, doesn't come from the heart. It comes from subconscious feelings. Love is about how the other person makes you feel... That isn't magic, and there isn't just that "one person out there for you". The fact of the matter is that love involves nonverbal reactions--synaptic (chemical) connections within our brains--despite how unromantic that sounds.

Every love passes through these stages..Lust is a passive phenomenon and is just a craving……Attraction on the otherhand is a blinding sensation…When attraction, or romantic passion, comes into play, we often lose our ability to think rationally -- at least when it comes to the object of our attraction. The old saying "love is blind" is really accurate in this stage. We are often oblivious to any flaws our partner might have. We idealize them and can't get them off our minds. This overwhelming preoccupation and drive is part of our biology.

LOVE consists of three stages---

1.Lust
2.Attraction
3.attachment

The attachment, or commitment, stage is love for the duration. You've passed fantasy love and are entering into real love. This stage of love has to be strong enough to withstand many problems and distractions

•MRI scans have shown that love lights up parts of the brain linked to the reward system that can cause drug addiction
•Early stage romantic love activates different parts of the brain to sex drive and attachment
•Falling in love appears to reduce serotonin levels in the blood in a similar way to obsessive-compulsive disorders

So what happens in the brain?


Love occurs due to the mediation of certain molecules which also act in drug addiction,compulsive disorders and other mental problems…

Dopamine- is thought to be the "pleasure chemical," producing a feeling of bliss.high levels of dopamine are also associated with norepinephrine, which heightens attention, short-term memory, hyperactivity, sleeplessness and goal-oriented behavior. In other words, couples in this stage of love focus intently on the relationship and often on little else.

Norepinephrine is similar to adrenaline and produces the racing heart and excitement.

The human body releases the cocktail of love rapture only when certain conditions are met and ... men more readily produce it than women, because of their more visual nature.

Another possible explanation for the intense focus and idealizing view that occurs in the attraction stage comes from researchers at University College London. They discovered that people in love have lower levels of serotonin and also that neural circuits associated with the way we assess others are suppressed.

When The Honeymoon's Over

Some scientists believe that after a certain period, from 18 months to 4 years, one's body gets used to these love stimulants. After building up a tolerance to the love chemicals, passionate romances can cool .In this phase of the relationship, your brain produces endorphins, brain opiates more like morphine than the attraction chemicals.These morphins and endorphins can cause attachment or if conditions are unfavourable the love is cooled off….this is the crucial period during which marriages can stay or break…that is why divorces peak at 4years after marriage…

Understand it better? I'd love to hear your love stories - email me at @
therelationshipdoctor.com@gmail.com

173. Long Distance Relationships

The LDR is often given a bad rap but actually I think it can work for awhile and sometimes even strengthen a relationship as it forces to you to be better communicators.

I do think it defintiely takes alot of work but then don't all good relationships worth the hard work?

Here are my Top 5 tips for surviving the distance..

1. Keep in touch throughout the day and night. Some texts, some emails, a facebook poke all let them know you are thinking about them throughout the day.

2. Nothing is too mundane. Swap stories about what you had for dinner, what time you are going to gym. This makes them feel part of your day to day life

3. Drunk dial them. You go to a club and then at the end of the night, you would usually go home to your lover. Calling them is second to that. Plus it eliminates any crazy fear that may have about you having met someone else whilst out. (this really can sneak in more often that not in a LDD)

4. Send them packages often. Love letter, or magazines or cards or choclates. Mail makes it more fun

5. Have an end plan. Even if its 5 years away. Having light at the end of the tunnel will make all the sucky parts easier

172. 5 Minutes Left

Country and western music is often mocked by the masses. But you know what - some of their lyrics are better than poetry and something to maybe sit up and take notice of.

Tim McGraw wrote and sang the below.. Imagine how loved up we would all be if we did as he said and lived like we were dying...


He said I was in my early forties, with a lot of life before me
And one moment came that stopped me on a dime
I spent most of the next days, looking at the x-rays
Talking bout' the options and talking bout' sweet times.
I asked him when it sank in, that this might really be the real end
How's it hit 'cha when you get that kind of news?
Man what did ya do?
He said

Chorus
I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

Verse 2
He said I was finally the husband, that most the time I wasn't
And I became a friend, a friend would like to have
And all of a sudden goin' fishin, wasn't such an imposition
And I went three times that year I lost my dad
Well I finally read the good book, and I took a good long hard look
At what I'd do if I could do it all again
And then

Chorus
I went skydiving
I went rocky mountain climbing
I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Shu
And I loved deeper
And I spoke sweeter
And I gave forgiveness I'd been denyin'
And he said some day I hope you get the chance
To live like you were dyin'

Bridge
Like tomorrow was the end
And ya got eternity to think about what to do with it
What should you do with it
What can I do with it
What would I do with it

168. BFF's Are Siblings God Forgot To Give You

My ladies are pure chicken soup for my soul. They make me feel so loved even when I know I have been awful & make feel clever when I have been stupid.

I dedicate this post to those girls of mine.

Love you for always

164. Falling

I hope I discover the next time I fall in love, that I have never being in love before!

Remember it's meant to be a lil bit scary, that's why it's called falling..

153. It's Okay To Want...

1. Someone to make up funny loves songs that rhyme with your name on his guitar.

2. Someone to take you to their favorite restaurant and order for you.

2. Someone to hold your hand whilst you are sleeping.

4. Someone to pick you flowers from the garden just because.

5. Someone to sometimes say they are sorry first even if it is not all their fault.

147. Mother Love

Happy Mother's Day!!

Remember to nuture all your relationships every day to keep them healthy and flourishing.

146. Love Vs Life

142. Edward & Vivian

Timeless romance refresher!

Hope you are all having a good week!

RD xo

134. Za Za Zsu

The term, orginally, comes from "Sex and the City", where Carrie describes it as the feeling you get when you meet someone you really really like. That sort of lovey, butterflies feeling when you just want to be with someone.

I myself, describe it as the feeling you get when you like someone so much, you miss them as soon as they leave the room, your legs shake when you think about how much you want them wrapped around you and just a simple sms from them, infact the very sight of their name in your phone makes your stomach do a little flip.

Highly addictive!

99. Flowers For J & V

I want to send some virtual flowers to two friends of mine.

J - I think you have done amazingly well so far considering your heartbreak! Your fb posts make me giggle gorgeous girl. Keep going!

V - I love you alot! Hang in there...

83. 14 Ways to Not Despair

So as I have already mentioned a few times this Sunday is Valentines Day.

And if you find yourself single, it can be a little dampening on your otherwise gorgeous spirit.

I've listed 14 ways below that you can do ensure you still embrace this Sunday..

1. Make yourself a breakfast of pancakes in bed. Don't forget the extra chocolate sauce.

2. Get a fabulous blow dry, put on your highest of heels and take your BFF out for an afternoon glass of champagne.

3. Take yourself to the movies, see whatever you like, sit where you like and get the biggest bag of popcorn and don't share it

4. Go group-dating (it will be a big thing in 2010, will by pass speed-dating as the cool)

5. Stay in your pj's all day and watch the entire series of Sex and the City.

6. Go through all your old photos, put on old 90's music and dance around. Suddenly you will remember a time more tragic than being single on Valentine's Day.

7. Take yourself off to a boxercise class. At the very least you can pretend to box the ears of one ex that broke your heart. Guaranteed you will feel liberated later.

8. Find a male friend that is also single and ask him to teach you how to play Call of Duty. The blood and violence will have you not thinking about being single in minutes.

9. Send a crush an anonymous love poem.

10. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Embrace the fact that albeit single, you have a roof over your head and food tonight.

11. Lay on the couch all day reading one of the classics like Tom Sawyer or Oliver Twist.

12. Take yourself off to the RSPCA and adopt a new pet. Or if you can't adopt one, volunteer to help out just playing with one for the day.

13. Download episodes of last season's Glee and sing along at the top of your voice.

14. Sleep in, then run a bubble bath and use the most bubbles ever.

It's only one day and frankly I am really looking forward to it!

26. 3250

I sincerely apologise for being absent for almost a week. I have been in the country!

The country (in this case a little town about 2 hours west of Melbourne) it seems, is teaming with eligible bachelors looking for women to meet and marry.

Good, honest, hardworking stock who are looking for an equal companion to do more than fair their share of the cooking and cleaning for them. As well as breed future generations of farmers, in return for a stable life in a big homestead and a tractor or two.

Ok, that might just have put fear into your heart.. well wait just a corn picking minute.

There are lots of bonuses when it comes to a country guy - they not big on computer games for start, preferring, to be outside, so there is no arguing about when is he going to stop playing World of Warcraft and come and play with you. (I receive soo many emails about this relationship issue!!)

Plus they are strong, have great forearms, are kind to animals and like children.

One very handsome single farmer, that I had several late night discussions about romance and relationships with, even confessed to knowing quite a bit about Sex and the City (verbatim.. " it was so good when Big went to rescue Carrie from France" ...)

Plus they like their food and I have a very good theory on men, appetites and healthy sex drives.

Now I am totally aware that might still not sound not like your cup of milky Bushell's..

And truth is, above all, the message is this - you should not rely on convention to find your soul shaker.. Just because you are city girl, do not cross these great country guys off your list just yet. At least not until you have met a few.

After all some of history's greatest ever love stories were oh so very unconventional..

3. Drop Me a Note!

Whilst I am going to be frank in this blog, I am also going to be serious - I really believe that I can offer some sound advice therefore if you have a question and you would like a private answer or you just want to see a blog about something - drop me a line at therelationshipdoctor.com@gmail.com - I would love to hear from you!

2. First Food For Thought

Everyone wants to be that dreamy couple where the guy worships the ground she walks on even when the girl is a spoilt, crying, lazy, bratty mess. After all it's what fairytales are built on right? WRONG!! Name the fairytale where the girl acts like a bitch and gets it all her own way? I will go on and on about this as time goes by but I'll let you settle in first.

Which does bring me to another point - Sex and the City. Great tv series. I freaking loved it and own the box set. But it's a tv series - like Monkey Magic. So when Carrie tells you "not to settle for anything else but butterflies" always remember that somewhere on some guy tv series, some Carriesque likes character is telling men that too. Telling them to not put up with girls who don't dress in thier cutest nighties each night, girls that don't keep their legs de-fuzzed and girls that don't send their partners texts every now and then telling them that when they get home from work that night they can't wait to give them the best blow job of their life.

Remember that. Its lesson number one. You are not perfect. Don't fill your head with crap or this New Year's Eve will be crap too.

1. Welcome

This is a blog for anyone who wants a relationship or is in one and wants to save it or wants to fix it or perhaps just make it better. Its for every one of my girlfriends who called me in tears late at night or sent me dramatic texts during the day or even posted woeful messages on their facebook. This is real advice i should have told them then. Hopefully its not too late to help them or you either dear reader.