123. Ten to Fun

Ok, I stole some of these but I plan to do most of them very soon!

1) Plant a naughty note in his wallet. That way, he'll see it when he goes to pay for his morning coffee or his lunch, and he'll end thinking about you for the rest of the day. Something like, "Meet me in the shower after work" should do the trick.

2) Do a $5 gift Sunday. This involves seeing who can get the most creative present for $5 in five moniutes. And it makes grocery shopping or a trip to the markets a lot more fun.

3) Go commando together. Even if it's just down to your local DVD store, it will be your cheeky little secret.

4) Draw up a map of your place and mark out where you've done it - and in what positions. Then, take turns marking the spots you still want to break in... and how you'll do just that.

5) Buy two copies of the same book. Read it together and discuss it as you go.

6) Ask him to help you moisturise after your morning shower. First of all, he'll love it and, and secondly, your hard-to-reach places will be mega-hyrdated. Just leave time for the inevitable results.

7) Make up charaters for each other - and play them all night long. He can be the pilot and you can be the hostie..

8) Write reminders in his phone calendar, like "Ravage Sarah tonight" Mark them "urgent"

9) Order takeway on Sunday - for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The only rule is, you both have to stay in your underwear all day long.

10) Do a Skype striptease - in the next room. Just see how long he can stay away. I'm guessing not very..

94. Down On One Knee? No Need..

I was asked yesterday what made men decide to get married.

The reasons are definitely varied but I think there are two commons themes.

1) When their light is on. (as demonstrated in the below dialouge from SATC)

"Men are like cabs, when their available their light goes on. They awake one day and decide their ready to settle down, have babies, whatever, and they turn their light on. Next woman they pickup, boom, that's the one they'll marry. It's not fate, it's dumb luck."

I back this dumb theory up. Saying that, I need to elaborate that the women who said it are not dumb, but the men who act on it are.

Take my FMM for instance.

A few months ago, he told me he wasn't getting married until he was 35.

Ok... so 25, climbing a very promising career ladder - check, 27, great car - check, 28, work overseas - check and then 35 married. Check?

What if he hasn't met someone suitable to marry by then?

Does he just marry anyone and then get divorced seven years later?

Does he miss out on marrying someone amazing because he meets her before he turns 35?

I must ask him to clarify his POV..

2)No need to marry

I think men ask women to marry them so that other men don't. If you are already tied to a man with a mortgage, kids, pets, cars, bank accounts - then really, there is less chance of anyone else asking you first.

So men will stall for as long as they can, as there is no fight for the prize on their hands.

That's Wednesdays food for thought anyway.

90. Bad Girlfriends

Bad girlfriends...

1. Cheat
2. Lie
3. Return presents that their lovers gave them unless the size is wrong

89. Threeways

How can you tell when is it time to quit on someone?

1. When they no longer make you happy just from hearing from them.

2. When they don't even attempt to fix it when you are down.

3. When you feel like you are the least important item on their list on a regular basis.

87. Team Mates

When your partner runs into trouble, do you pick his side?

Or do you usually assume it was his fault?

Likewise, does he have your back most times?

Does he always choose your side first?

It will pay to note your own answers.. they could really be telling you something!

86. Effort

Even if you are the prettiest, funniest, cleverest person you know, you won't be a good partner if you don't exert some effort.

FTR, this is not calling when you said you would or even offering to do your share of emptying the dishwasher without being asked.

It's really, really showing your gf/bf that you appreciate the fact they are in your life by occasionally going above and beyond the norm and doing something just a little bit special.

For them.

I cannot be any clearer than that..

85. Hold Your Fire

From time to time, one of you will stuff up. It's inevitable (unless you are 7ft tall and blue)

I'd watch how you react to your other persons stuff up, otherwise a funny phenomenon will occur.

It won't stop anyone making mistakes but it may make them stop telling you when they have done so or perhaps make them just go away altogether.

If there is real remorse and a promise to attempt to never do such a stuff up again,and you still want them around, sometimes that truly is enough.

Truly..

84. Sexiest Couple Ever

“Demi and I have agreed that instead of doing the big thing for each other, we are going to celebrate by sharing our love with other people,” said Kutcher. "We launched our foundation, the DNA Foundation, on Monday to help trafficking victims – we have this group in New York, GEMS [Girls Educational & Mentoring Services] girls who don’t have someone to be their Valentine this year. So Demi and I are going to send flowers to all of these girls, as many as we can, and make them our Valentines.

The Demi and Ashton Foundation was established to help abolish modern day slavery, punish perpetrators and free the innocent and exploited victims. The DNA Foundation is committed to protecting the freedom of the world’s most vulnerable citizens by forcing sex slavery out of the shadows and into the spotlight."

Now if that isn't the hottest thing I have ever heard...

82. Formulae

I'm often sent emails asking me what the exact secret is to finding someone great to have a relationship with.

Okay I'll tell you

It's 1/5 part luck, 1/5 part good timing, 1/5 part compatability and definitely 2/5 part compromise.

Finally finished with a heavy dusting of quite alot of your own self-respect.

Infact probably the only sure thing is that if you really like yourself, alot of other people will really, really like you too and from that it won't be hard too to find someone that you just really mesh well with.

Albert himself could'nt have written it better!

81. Five Sleeps..

I hope you have your VD plans wrapped up by now?

Remember a simple night in, by yourselves with the tv off, is just as cool.

80. Honeymooners? We Shall See..

Tripping through facebook.com today and I came across some people who got married on Saturday.

They left for their honeymoon yesterday.

They have headed to a fairly romantic destination

But so far (it's being less than 24hrs..) they have slept in, had pizza for dinner, looked at some sights and uploaded twenty pictures of facebook of these activties.

Plus played some farmville, commeneted on the odd status or five and changed their profile pictures to their dopplegangers (it's a facebook trend at the moment..)

I don't get it.

I would have really recommended leaving the computer at home.

We shall see if it's a sign of things to come...

Infact... I'll keep you posted!

77. Proof?

Victoria Rockefeller was quoted last week saying that "there were no problems in her marriage"

Carrying on the theme from my "Green Grass" post, it seems possible that Mr Rockefeller disagreed.

A few years back, over alot of coffee and champagne, a colleague of mine regulary spoke about leaving his girlfriend of seven years.

He said he was bored and that he missed the passion and the excitement that he used to feel.

But he was afraid that if he broke up with her, it would be all too hard to sort out their joint financials. That it just altogether seemed too hard to do.

He ended up marrying her. I cannot imagine it got any better.

I hope he doesn't go looking for something more exciting and I don't hear about him on the evening news.

NB The Relationship Doctor intends no disrespect to the Rockefeller family during this tough time.

75. Green Grass

I had a conversation this morning about a couple that are about to break up.

Seems that the lady in the half has met someone at work that she is wrapped up in a flirt-fest with..

Her family are advising not breaking up with her current boyf of three years.

They have reminded her that "the grass isn't always greener.."

Meh.

It might not be. But it might be too.

This lady is very, very young.. And her current boyf is her only boyf.

Ever.

To not see what else might be out there, is just not advisable.

She may always live with the regret of what if?

I think only several attempts at the dating experience gives you the wisdom of knowing that what you have, is worth the missing out on what you don't have..

I certainly look back at the boys I was interested in before hand, with the knowledge that the boy I am interested in now, is 105 times more of a man than they were or would ever turn out to be.

I would be miserable if I was still in a dalliance with my much unwiser dating experiences.

So I think the lady in question should do it - leap ahead and check it out!

69. Hearts and Bears

It's just fourteen days til Valentines Day.

And whilst you might scoff at the idea, it's a good excuse for you to use your imagination, exert some effort and plan something that will remind your lover you think he or she is really gorgeous.

Valentines Day does'nt have to be kitsch or corny and just because you don't believe in the commercial side of it, doesn't mean that you shouldn't plan a few hours of knocking your lovers socks off. Literally.

Plus you'll be suprised at how ignoring a day set aside for couples can be suicide for your relationship when he hears how Josh's girlfriend arranged a naked picnic and served the dips off her stomach.


You have just fourteen days..

68. Breaks

Sometimes your boyf will tell you he wants a break from the relationship.

He is probably lying.

It could be his way of building up to breaking up with you.

Need further proof?

I have a very good friend called Darion.

A few years back he dated a gorgeous girl.

But she didn't have her own intertests.

So he grew tired of her.

And every Saturday night on the way home from the pub he thought about dumping her.

But when he woke up, he was always hung over. So he didn't do it.

Eventually he told her that he loved her but he thought it was important for their relationship if they had a break.

So that he could have time to miss "them"

He confessed to me that he never, ever intended on getting back with her.

And that night had stated seeing someone else.

You need to know this stuff. It really does happen.

He will leave you if you treat him badly.

He might just dress the idea up in a fancy packed piece of luggage.

67. The Ugly Truth

Sunday arvo is a always a good time for some couch time.. This new release dvd will entertain the both of you!

Worth a look today..

60. Counters

How many times have you heard parents say to their kids "I'll give you til three"?

And then how many pay any attention and how many ignore them?

Depends, you see, on how much integrity the counter has.

If the kid knows that nothing is going to happen when the counter gets to three, then said kid has nothing to risk by behaving poorly.

Men are sooo like this.

I know full well because my "I am never talking to you ever again" is not met with the begging and tears it deserves.

Infact, these days, it's more like I said I am going to get milk.

My own fault - I've said it 400 times and clearly don't mean it..

Better tip would be to stop the completely empty threats and do everything I said I was going to, when I said it and not say anything at all that I didn't mean!

I'll start this new attitude tomorrow.

I am quite sure this will be good news to someone at least.

45. Shut Up?

I want to know when did it become acceptable to publicly humilitate your partner.

The one who you trust enough to let them sleep next to you every night?

The fact is it didn't.


And yet at the moment, I am coming across couples who think it is ok to speak to each other in a highly innappropiate manner in front of other people that they might not even really know.

Personally this is a deal breaker for me. I'm a fan of the mantra; internal debate, external cohesion.

It is a fantasy to think, that when in a relationship, you are not going to really annoy each at some stage. But that sort of fighting is best done behind closed doors. It's ugly, unfair and doesn't show any respect for the people you are doing it in front of. Let alone your partner.

Having my lover tell me to shut up or that I am an idiot in front of people just isn't ok.

And therefore I would never do it to them.

Being in a relationship is as hard as walking a tightrope - but learn to walk it with grace or jump down.

You have no right to speak to him like that. Nor he you.

29. For Fat's Sake!!

"Just overheard a guy talking about his girlfriend on the train "she's getting fatter everytime I see her"...

And so reads the facebook.com status of my best friend.

Boys, when you notice your girlfriend getting too big for her bikini - ask her to join you at the gym, make her a salad, take her camping, buy her a bike for her birthday, take up salsa dancing together or better yet, buy her flowers every day for a week. And then buy her perfume. Before you know it, she will be wanting to have alot of sex with you. Best fat burning activity ever!!

And girls, when your boyfriend asks you to exercise with him, it's because he wants to spend time with you and be seen with you. Do not turn him down. Get off the couch and go and do it. New Years Eve is only 21 sleeps away...

Non-fat food for thought from Bart, a guy friend of mine "If a guy thinks a girl is a 5/10 on the attractive scale, the moment she starts working out, she instantly jumps to a 7"

2. First Food For Thought

Everyone wants to be that dreamy couple where the guy worships the ground she walks on even when the girl is a spoilt, crying, lazy, bratty mess. After all it's what fairytales are built on right? WRONG!! Name the fairytale where the girl acts like a bitch and gets it all her own way? I will go on and on about this as time goes by but I'll let you settle in first.

Which does bring me to another point - Sex and the City. Great tv series. I freaking loved it and own the box set. But it's a tv series - like Monkey Magic. So when Carrie tells you "not to settle for anything else but butterflies" always remember that somewhere on some guy tv series, some Carriesque likes character is telling men that too. Telling them to not put up with girls who don't dress in thier cutest nighties each night, girls that don't keep their legs de-fuzzed and girls that don't send their partners texts every now and then telling them that when they get home from work that night they can't wait to give them the best blow job of their life.

Remember that. Its lesson number one. You are not perfect. Don't fill your head with crap or this New Year's Eve will be crap too.