I sat down with my dear friend K recently and had a frank chat about relationships with her.
This is what happened.
Verbatim..
Q: You are in a new relatively new relationship - whats the best thing about dating someone brand new?
The best thing about dating someone new is that you can move on in your life with someone you feel like you have a future with. If you have broken up with someone there was obviously reason for it, therefore,...... NEXT.
Q: Whats the hardest?
The hardest thing, is at the start of a new relationship both of us are on our "best behaviour" ie they are someone that they want the other party to like! So you wont really know who the person is until you have hung out with them for a year or more!!
Q: You have dated people alot younger than you - how did you find that?
At the time I did not care that the person I was dating was 14 years younger than me, we had fun and thats all that mattered! But looking back whilst not in the situation, you can see a lot clearer and we definately had different maturity levels.
You are at different levels in life and if they dont match then it can make things difficult. For example, I had had several relationships and several flings previously and was ready for a serious relationship, whereas they had only had one proper relationship so wasn't as interested in "settling down".
Q: Do you think being the same age really matters? Or does having similar interests help more?
I think that the age gap doesnt always matter, it depends on the individual case. However, what I have discovered is, if the gap is one that starts from late teens/early 20's onwards then there can be issues. This is because the younger party hasn't matured and lived properly yet to be able to know exactly what they really want whereas the other one has. But if you have an age difference later in life, take for instance, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi, I think that it can work because Portia has lived through life for 35 years and is knowledgeable,wise and mature enough to know what she wants in life
Q: How hard is jelousy to deal with? Have you ever had to deal with it?
Jealousy is very difficult to deal with and yes I have been known to be a green eyed monster in the past. It kinda just happened to me and I didn't enjoy it, the problem was I did not know how to deal with it. These days (being older and wiser) I tend not to let it affect me as much and if I do feel it, I tell myself that I am a person that deserves everything in life, and that I cannot control anyone's behaviour. I can only control my own behaviour and that I am a good person and deserve to be with someone that treats me right. If the person I am with is not treating me right I tell them. At the end of the day if my partner cheats on me or leaves me that will be their loss and not mine. This makes me a stronger person. Also, if I feel like I am going to act jealous then I will not put myself in those scenarios (where possible).
Q: Whats your number one relationship rule?
Always have your own stuff going on ie - things that you like to do and that are passionate about. If your partner is not into your passion then do it on your own. Its good for your character and you wont feel so much pressure in the relationship of doing every single thing together. Time apart makes the heart grow fonder!! But balance it of course!! You still need to connect with your partner frequently, but just take time out for yourself!
The RD thanks her wonderful friend for this personal interview and wishes her and her new girlfriend L every happiness in their future together
