180. The Very Worst Thing

Humiliation.

The worst thing about being cheated on and lied to is the humiliation.

It's expected that people will fall out of love with each other and it's expected that we as humans don't mate for life.

But it doesn't give anyone an excuse to tread all over your feelings with lies and trickery.

At one stage, you loved this person that you are now lying too. Or if even if you didn't, you should still appreciate the feelings that they have for you.

They will cope more with the fact that you now want to be with someone else, than they will cope with the realization that they have been lied to and made to look stupid in front of other people.

Imagination overdrive will kick in and they will know that possibly you lay in bed with your new lover giggling as your orginal lover called your mobile looking for you.

I've just read Tiger Wood's ex-wife Elin's account and it isn't pretty.

It simply wasn't fair how she was treated but the humiliation of it all made it so much worse.

Remember you were lucky enough to have someone, anyone love you at some stage, you do not need to trample on those feelings by amping up her humilation levels.

Be upfront and honest as soon as possible in order to make a bad situation more bearable for the heart-broken.

179. Consumed

It isn't cool to let yourself be so into your new boyfriend that you turn into a stalker destined for a trip to the magistrates court and the front page of your local newspaper.

I'll elaborate...

Someone I know very well, started a little fling with a boy. For several reasons or another, the fling ended before it's time. But I believe the two still quite like each other. Or have some serious chemistry at least.

Now the boy has started seeing someone else - but he still cannot bring himself to not contact the first girl on a very regular basis. So much so, that he often commits the dating faux pas of sending sms's to the first girl in the company of the new girl. And Im not talking one or two but more like 22 or more.

So the new girlfriend isn't altogether silly and knows a threat when she sees one. But instead of removing herself from the situation or trying to express her feelings about this to her boyfriend - she commences Operation Stalkfest.

The first girl starts to receive facebook.com emails from the second girls posse of devoted lady friends. And friend requests from the second girl's guy facebook friends. Several 100's of them. The first girl speaks to the boy in question and is told that yes, indeed, the second girl is feeling jealous of the link between the orginal two and would just like to see the first girl's pictures to know what she is up against.

Seriously. WTH????

Now probably the second girl doesn't read my blog but if she did (and for all you others who have felt the stalker gene emerge from time to time) - I am going to insist you get a grip.

Or you will just spiral out of control.

Don't let anyone else consume you to the point of breaking the law. Because that's what you are doing.

When you are starting to feel like this - I suggest you do one (or all!) of the below 5 things

1) Go get a facial. It will make you feel pampered and beautiful again.
2) Replace facial with professional shampoo and blow dry
3) Dance around your lounge room to anything by Usher, Lady Gaga or Jason Derulo.
4) Summons your girlfriends together and laugh til your cheeks hurt.
5) Get really dressed up with your BFF and go out for cupcakes Carrie and Miranda style.

No-one, no matter how cute his accent or how pretty his smile, is worth restless nights or splitting hairs over.

Plus it's really, really unattractive.

And I can guarantee you - it won't stop the original couple being together again if they want to. You will just look foolish as well as be heartbroken.

More importantly - if he is really something special and he likes you - he won't want to make you feel this way.

178. It's Never Ok.

It's never okay for your partner to be violent towards you or around you.

Rachel Taylor is my woman of the week for having the courage to speak out about ex-boyf Matthew Newton's latest violent incidents.

When someone is behaving like this, you cannot help them.

They need professional help.

It's too risky to your well-being to stay around.

It's never okay and there is no excuse.

177. Make Your Own Boyfriend?

Wouldn't it be great if you could make your own boyfriend? But tweaked in your very own way? Kind of like when you get a receipe of a friend but then you add your own favorite things to it.

If I could make my own I would add -

A pinch of love for my quirkiness

A dab of tolerance for my moodiness

Half a cup of sexy spotanaity

A generous dash of a love of current affairs and debate

Some cute name calling; more like 'beautiful' and less like 'bub' (groan..)

A thirst for travel

An ability to refelct on his own behaviour before blaming anyone else

I'd ensure he didn't have road rage or narrow-minded ideas

That he was brave, strong and funny.

That he put my feelings first 50% of the time

That hanging out with just me on Saturday night was sometimes all he wanted to do.

If all that came as a mixture, then I'd wrap that boy-dough up and bake it in a healthy relationship of goodness.

Sounds nice anyway..

176. Uber Apologies

I am so terribly sorry about the lack of posts this winter!

I am definitely back from hibernation.

Please, please, please accept this virtual drop of heaven as my token gesture - and sit back and get ready to read on!