126. According To My Friend Steve

Most men use texting as a weapon in their dating arsenal. Here's why:

1)They can text from just about anywhere, such as while they are on a date and the girl is in the bathroom, while they are at work, or while they are sitting on the couch watching the game

2)It's sneaky and guys love sneaky

3) It doesn't require talking on the phone

4) It makes it easier to lie

5) There is no background noise or anything that would indicate where they are

6) They can easily keep in touch with up to ten different women (maybe more if they can type fast)

7) Booty texting avoids the risk of rejection over the phone

8) They love having pictures of you naked on their phone.

125. Shopping for Love Part 2..

I received quite alot of feedback about my picking up at the supermarket post - and have some more to add..

Guys know your single by checking out your shopping trolley and the below list confirms it for them

1) Single serving of chicken or frozen dinners

2) Small amounts of produce, such as one or more tomatoes

3) Too much cat or dog food. This can be scary to a man as some don't like too many pets

4) No junk food whatsoever. Or a basketful of diet products. Men eat junk food. If you had one in the house, you would buy him some

5) A lonely pint of icecream

124. Dooming Behaviour... Expecting Him to Pay For Everything

Money matters. Gold diggers can disreguard this post, as it doesn't apply to you - you have bigger problems. For the rest of us, good men want to take us out and make us feel special, but they also expect a little return on their investment.

Men are very cost-benefit oriented. This return can come in the form of home-cooked dinners once in a while, small gifts, and us paying for things. Just like us, men want to feel appreciated, and everyone, male or female, enjoys a freebie.

Once in the relationship, you may find going dutch or taking turns paying is the best solution. Money doesn't grow on trees, but ugly sticks do.

And when you're cheap with men, it's as though you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down..

123. Ten to Fun

Ok, I stole some of these but I plan to do most of them very soon!

1) Plant a naughty note in his wallet. That way, he'll see it when he goes to pay for his morning coffee or his lunch, and he'll end thinking about you for the rest of the day. Something like, "Meet me in the shower after work" should do the trick.

2) Do a $5 gift Sunday. This involves seeing who can get the most creative present for $5 in five moniutes. And it makes grocery shopping or a trip to the markets a lot more fun.

3) Go commando together. Even if it's just down to your local DVD store, it will be your cheeky little secret.

4) Draw up a map of your place and mark out where you've done it - and in what positions. Then, take turns marking the spots you still want to break in... and how you'll do just that.

5) Buy two copies of the same book. Read it together and discuss it as you go.

6) Ask him to help you moisturise after your morning shower. First of all, he'll love it and, and secondly, your hard-to-reach places will be mega-hyrdated. Just leave time for the inevitable results.

7) Make up charaters for each other - and play them all night long. He can be the pilot and you can be the hostie..

8) Write reminders in his phone calendar, like "Ravage Sarah tonight" Mark them "urgent"

9) Order takeway on Sunday - for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The only rule is, you both have to stay in your underwear all day long.

10) Do a Skype striptease - in the next room. Just see how long he can stay away. I'm guessing not very..

122. Love Life's Big Question?

Q: You can't really change a man, can you?

A: You can change a man's habits, but not who he is. The easiest thing to change is that way you respond to him. This will cause a chain reaction and eventually his behaviour will change.

I can assure you of this from personal experience. I've known very bad men who have been changed by the right women several times. For example, lets say your man constantly loses things, and always ropes you into his searching panic. You can't stop him from losing things, but you can simply ignore him by continuing with what you were doing, and not dropping everything to help him search.

Your lack of response will teach him. If you don't like it, don't respond.

121. A Model's Musings

Yesterday Megan Gale stepped in for her bf Andy Lee, whilst Lee had dental surgury, co-hosting his drive time show with Hamish Blake.

Having a girl co-host, Blake took full advantage and asked Gale's advice what were her tips for "sealing the deal" in a relationship see-saw.

I share them with you now...

1) Cooking, cooking, cooking! And the better or fancier the dish, the more the points you'll win! A good roast, a good pasta and a good steak all came up trumps!

2) Find out his favorite sports team, and get a little interested.. Gale admits to having occasionally thrown out just the odd comment of "Johnson playted well today didn't he!" And will even go so far as texting Lee the score if she knows he might miss his fav match!

3) Befriend his friends (my fav!) Have them over, make them welcome at your place! Feed them and fetch them beer without being asked as a start..

Check out Hamish and Andy's website for a full copy of the podcast from yesterday's show

120. Can't Communicate?

Q: Why is it so difficult for men to communicate? Are you a psychologist?

A: I'm not a psychologist. If I were, I would know very little about the real world of relationships and dating. I learned the real way.

It's not always "difficult" for guys to communicate. Instead, what you're seeing is probably the result of years of former communication-gone-wrong experiences.

He probably once tried to tell a girl how he felt about something, and she either went mental or misinterpreted what he was trying to say.

Or, even worse, he once opened up to a girl about how much he liked her, and she dumped him. Once bitten, twice shy. So he has learned from his experiences and now figures that he just won't bother.

Another possibility is that he thinks he's communicating. Men and women say the same thing but in a different language.

If you've got a guy who won't talk, the best thing you can do is let him concretely know that you love blunt people. And be blunt with him on a few choice topics to open up communication ground.

But get ready, because opening the communication flood gates always brings some funky stuff floating down that river of honesty, and if your man is not the most sophisticated fish in the sea, he may inadvertently say some mean things. The best thing to do is keep him on a specific topic.

119. De Brito De Brilliant

I've blogged before that you should make Sam De Brito's blog part of your daily reading just for an insight!

And this particular post makes for very entertaining reading..

http://blogs.theage.com.au/executive-style/allmenareliars/2010/03/02/howtosayilo.html

118. Committed?

Q. I meet someone, date him, love him and then leave. What's my problem? Will I ever committ?

A. You're funny - and you have dater's ADD. Maybe you don't have a problem. Maybe you're not cut out for long-term relationships, or maybe you haven't met the right guy, or are dating the wrong type. Do you want to committ? have you ever committed? It's nice being in love with the right person; it's fun, the sex is steady (at least at my house), and you get to know someone. But the truth is, any decent relationship is work, and if you have a job that keeps you super busy, then a relationship may be a chore.

Ask yourself this: what is it you really want?

117. The Fatalist

Recently, someone I know very well, got told by a man friend of hers that frankly the two of them communicated too much on a day to day basis.

The girl took this information and ran crazy with it. And told him that they then, instead, would then not talk at all for three whole weeks. Nadda.

Which really was ridiculous, as after a bit of thought, this close friend of mine realised that actually, he was right and they did perhaps talk too much and that she had infact been neglecting several other very important aspects of her life, that she actually really had been missing.

I share with you now the tip that I gave her.

Count to 1,000 before responding to anything like this.

That gives time for common sense/rationale to prevail and permeate your response.

116. Snoop?

Q. I just looked in my boyfriend's mobile phone and he has been calling his ex-girlfriend. He told me they were done and not communicating. I'm freaked out now because if he knows I was looking, he'll turn it into a trust issue. And, of course, I don't know what they're talking about. Plus, she lives far away. My question is: was it bad that I looked in his phone and what should I do now that I know?

A. Yes, it's bad that you looked in his phone. Why? Because you may be freaking out over nothing. That, and you violated his privacy. Maybe he sneaked behind your back because he figured you would make a big scene if he told you he was talking to his ex. Guys hate drama. His converations could very well have been innocent.

But for the moment, let's say he's guilty and he's flirting with his ex. I suggest you wait a week, don't look in his phone again, keep quiet, and then talk about an ex of your own. Say how he called you (make it up if you have to?!) and how it's inevitable that certain people from our past will call us. Say that you think couples should be mature about this. If he doesn't come clean at that moment, store it, because he may be waiting until he's comfortable. if in a day he doesn't come clean, ask him if he ever talks to his ex. Say you won't be mad. He won't believe you, but say it anyway. if he still doesn't come clean, I would mentally start the separation process, because he's clearly got something to hide. In general, I don't recommend looking in anyone's phone unless it's an emergency.

115. A Love Recipe

1)No relationship is a waste of time
2)Have fun with a guy even if he is not "the one"
3)Pine is for furniture, not for men
4)Don't push too hard, let things unfold naturally
5) Don't sell yourself short

114. Motorboat

The placement of one's face, specifically the mouth, into the area between a well-endowed woman's breasts, followed by a rapid shaking of the face in a side-to-side motion accompanied by yelling.

The resulting sound that is created sounds similar to an outboard boat motor.

Apparently.

113. How You Should Think At The Supermarket

The word necessity should forever be at the forefront of your psyche when it comes to groceries. As soon as you hear the clanging of metal carriges and squeaking of wheels, you should immediately think:

It's a necessity that I look casually sexy, even if I am just going to pick up a few items.

It's a necessity that I be aware that I and what's in my basket are being watched.

It's a necessity that I don't waste this opportunity to stroll up and down the aisles to see what's on sale. And by "what's on sale", I mean "if there any hot guys shopping".

It's a necessity that I strike up a conversation with men who are also shopping alone. Make a fun comment on something in his basket, or try "Excuse me, do you know what aisle the coffee is in?"

It's a necessity that I look at the supermarket as a dating arena, and not just a place to get broccoli..

112. Short Break

Dear Readers

The Relationship Doctor is taking a short break for a few days but will be back with lots more posts shortly.

Talk to you soon!

RD

111. Great Post From Special Guest Host

Introducing Bridget Holland - Dating Expert and General Manager of TeleCafe


A little bit about me…


What’s a woman who’s been happily married for the last five years doing giving singles advice about dating?


I used to head up one of the most well known internet dating sites and now I’ve been running TeleCafe for over two years. TeleCafe is Australia’s biggest phone chat forum – in a ‘normal’ week we take in excess of 15, 000 calls!


Dating and relationships are what I do best. But it’s not just my work background – it’s also the fifteen plus years it took me personally to find the right man!


I’ve certainly had my share of experiences, and now spend lots of my time listening to how other people are getting on in the dating game and finding out about the latest and greatest ways to date and have fun.


All of this means that I’ve learnt a thing or two about dating and relationships and am here to share with you a few insider hints and tips!


You’ll notice a common theme in most of the things I have to say about dating - the number one thing I tell all singles is don’t be afraid to take a risk! There are so many couples out there with weird and wacky stories about how they met, don’t get caught up in overanalysing dating. Just get out there!


A little bit about TeleCafe…


Established in 1994, TeleCafe was one of the first telephone chat forums in Australia and remains the most popular. Since its introduction, TeleCafe has received almost twenty million calls!


The key to this success is TeleCafe’s original winning formula which identifies and blends the best parts of traditional and modern relationships: simplicity, adventure, chivalry and good old-fashioned conversation.


Girls Call: 1300 778 653 (local call costs, pay/mob extra)


Guys Call: 1900 920 515 (national call, calls cost $1.65/min. pay/mob extra)


Or you can find out more at our website - www.telecafe.com.au



What the Winter Olympians taught us about dating…


by Bridget Holland, Dating Expert and General Manager of TeleCafe


I’m sure you, like me, have been glued to your TV of late rediscovering all of the weird and wonderful sports of the Winter Olympics. Although I don’t think I’ll be taking up curling or the like anytime soon, watching the Games was pretty inspiring and I think the Winter Olympians and athletes in general can teach us a thing or two when it comes to dating…


Here are some suggestions which I hope will get you not just thinking, but actually playing:


Relax!
Have you ever seen an athlete tense up at a really critical moment and lose it? Nervousness can make awkward moments much worse.


If sparking up a conversation with a stranger is a nightmare for you, then don’t make things too hard on yourself.


Try using technology to help you - when you’re talking on the phone or via email, there’s not so much to be nervous about. You’re safe and secure in your own home and you can leave the conversation at any time. Better yet, if you’re sending messages you get a second chance.


Have fun
Most Olympians aren’t in it for the money. They do it because they love it and so should you.


Whatever you’re doing to improve your dating chances, if you’re not enjoying it, stop! Take a break, a few minutes, a few days, a few weeks, then have another go when you feel like it.


You might want to try the really simple technique of smiling. It will improve your confidence, people will respond to your good mood and will even hear it in your voice.


Practice makes perfect
Or at least a lot better. The first few times Tiger swung a golf club or Federer wove a tennis racquet, they weren’t champions.


In dating, you might miss ‘the ball’ completely, and it’s pretty much certain things won’t go where you want over and over. But I implore you get out there and try dating, chatting and flirting more often because the more you try, the better you’ll get.


The first time you call TeleCafe, you won’t know what to say in your introduction, you won’t know how to start a conversation and you might press the wrong buttons – in more ways than one! So what? You didn’t learn how to walk without falling over. Hang up, do something else, laugh at yourself, remember nobody else saw or heard you making a fool of yourself. Then, have another go.


Do you want to join in on the conversation with the almost 3000 people calling TeleCafe each week?


Girls Call: 1300 778 653 (local call costs, pay/mob extra)


Guys Call: 1900 920 515 (national call, calls cost $1.65/min. pay/mob extra)


Or you can find out more at our website - www.telecafe.com.au


NB Might all sound a little too different but the Relationship Doctor reminds you that being unconventional played a major part in history, after all killing themselves at 14 was considered unconventional and that became the greatest love story of all time..

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!

110. Dear Alex.. Part 2.

From the Daily Telegraph...

'A former police officer who made sexual advances at several of her colleagues has lost her unfair dismissal case against NSW Police.

Probationary constable Jessica Parfrey was sacked five months into her probation as a police officer near Newcastle in September 2007 after propositioning four different co-workers for sex, the Daily Telegraph reports.

Several days after arriving at the Waratah Local Area Command north of Sydney, Ms Parfrey allegedly asked her supervisor if they could have an affair, an offer he turned down.

A month later, she propositioned him again, the Industrial Relations Commission (IRC) in Sydney heard.

"Can't we just f***?" she told him. "I am a 19-year-old girl, what is wrong with you?"

She also allegedly offered a different officer oral sex in a pub toilet and repeatedly called another saying she would help him study for exams by removing an article of clothing for each correct answer he gave.

Ms Parfrey challenged her sacking saying she was joking and that most of the alleged sexual harassment incidents took place outside of work.

But IRC deputy president John Grayson rejected her claims and refused to reinstate her.

Ms Parfrey is now working as a barmaid'

I hope the NSW Police offered Jessica counselling. And Alex.. your girls are headed to a similar fate if you don't act and remove the poor role model - today.

109. Ex-citement?

Every now and then an ex will rear their head.

Perhaps beg for another chance with your heart. (thanks facebook.com)

I have even seen it really work.

Infact friends of mine are my all time favorite love story.

These two dated at high school and were each other's first lovers.

After high school, they grew apart, as they started really growing up.

He moved away. Both got very serious with other people.

Nearly ten years later and single again, he looked her up.

They had coffee and shared a kiss.

Today they share a home and two very cute kids.

But it doesn't always work. And time apart does really cloud what it was really like.

If you broke up beacause one of you cheated or as you grew up, your beliefs/morals were different to each others, then it almost never works.

And it's much better to just keep the past as really fond memories, even if a little skewed from the truth.

Need further proof?

Last night, I found an old diary of mine. I laughed til I cried at the memories. I was then inspired to pull out some old albumns of us looking very cute and romantic.

Luckily my BFF also reminded me of the names of several of the girls that he also spent nights with when I thought he was at work.

And she told me she just heard he had left his wife of ten years. For her sister.

108. Dear Alex..

Once is a mistake, twice is even forgivable but after that, he is taking advantage of you.

Please believe that you are an amazing woman who can do better than this guy.

If he truly loved you and your girls, he would not treat you like this.

I am quite sure that he is quirky and sometimes really adorable and when he is being good, he is amazing.

But he is making a fool of you.

And you do not deserve this constant poor treatment.

You are also setting a very bad example for your girls on what is an acceptable way to be treated during a marriage.

Alex, please, for the sake of your daughters and yourself, dump the douche.

Don't end up another Simone Warne-esque tragedy.

107. Fresh Footprints

Each of us stumbles
When we want so much to stay upright

That each of us says things
We wish we had never said

That we can all forget that life
Is more important than being right

106. You're A Dumb Cheat

People who say their cheating spouses are stupid may be close to the mark.

Scientists have concluded that men and women who sleep around are likely to have lower IQ's.

The smarter a human is, the less likely he is to cheat on his partner, according to Dr Satoshi Kanazawa, an evolutionary pyschologist from London.

His theory is that through evolutionary history, humans have always being midly polygamous.

Today, however, entering a sexually exclusive relationship is an "evolutionary novel" development and according to his theory, intelligent people are more likely to adopt new practices, to become "more evolved"

He says humans who cannot adapt and end up succumbing to temptation and cheating are likely to be more stupid.

So there.

105. Delete Delete Delete

If you picture swap, don't show your head.

Ever

If he snaps you unaware like this, then watch him as he deletes it.

No matter how much you like him at the time..